Chapter 85
The fortress was still bleeding.
Smoke curled from the towers, faint but stubborn. Cracked stone littered the outer walls. Men limped through the halls with torn cloaks and bandaged arms. The attack was over, but the battle hadn’t truly ended.
Scheuer stood at the gates, sword still strapped to her back, her clothes scratched and soot-stained. She hadn’t left her post in two days.
“Report,” she said as a soldier approached.
“The southern ridge is holding. No more movement. We’ve begun repairs on the second wall.”
“Casualties?”
The soldier lowered his eyes. “Forty-two confirmed. Eight missing. Twenty-seven injured.”
Scheuer’s mouth tightened. UShe gave a curt nod. “Keep watch. Double the archers at the north lookout. If I find anyone sleeping on duty, I’ll throw them off the wall myself.”
“Yes, ma'am.”
She turned sharply and walked back through the gates, her boots crunching over broken stone. Blood had dried in streak
That evening, October didn’t attend the strategy meeting.
She said nothing to Scheuer as she excused herself, simply nodded and left the balcony. Her legs were unsteady beneath her. The cold had stiffened her joints and the silence had crept too deep inside her chest.
She went to her chambers and shut the door softly.
There was no fire yet, no warmth waiting. Just shadows and stillness. The only light came from the snow outside, glowing faintly through the frosted window.
She didn’t take off her coat. She didn’t untie her boots. She just stood in the middle of the room, still.
She didn’t feel victorious.
She felt... hollow.
A soft knock came minutes later.
She didn’t speak, but the door opened anyway.
Baldwin.
His presence filled the room without a word. He didn’t stride in like a king. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it as if the weight of everything hung on his back too.
He studied her for a moment. She wasn’t crying, but she looked like she might at any moment.
“I didn’t know if you’d want company,” he said gently.
“I don’t,” she said.
But she didn’t ask him to leave.
Baldwin stepped forward slowly. “Then I’ll just sit with you until the silence stops hurting.”
October didn’t move.
He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, his gloves still on, his sword at his hip.
Finally, she whispered, “I keep seeing his face.”
Baldwin said nothing. He waited.
“I caught the traitor. I exposed him. I even tricked him into proving it. Everyone says I saved the fortress.” Her voice cracked. “So why do I feel like I killed him?”
He looked up at her. “Because you still have a heart.”
She laughed softly, bitter. “What good is a heart in war?”
“Yours kept this place standing.”
October walked toward the fireplace and knelt beside it, lighting the kindling with a slow, practiced hand. It took a moment for the flames to catch. She stared into them like she wanted answers.
“I didn’t sleep that night Baldwin left,” she said. “I stayed up reading every old battle record, every route, every report I could find. I kept looking for patterns. Weaknesses. I wrote three versions of the message I gave that child to deliver. I didn’t even know his name.”
Baldwin rose from the bed, quiet and slow, and came to sit beside her on the rug.
“I didn’t know you did all that,” he said.
“I didn’t want anyone to know,” she replied. “If I failed, it would’ve been my shame alone.”
Baldwin reached out, fingers brushing her unbandaged hand. “And if you succeeded?”
She looked at him for the first time since he entered.
“I didn’t plan for that part,” she whispered.
He squeezed her hand.
They sat in silence, the fire crackling between them.
\---
Baldwin removed his gloves. Then, without asking, he gently unfastened the buckles of her outer coat. His touch was soft, slow, careful not to pull too fast.
October let him.
He peeled the heavy fabric from her shoulders and helped her shift so he could guide her closer to the fire. She sat between his legs now, her back to his chest, his arms wrapping around her carefully, resting over her middle.
“I should be stronger than this,” she murmured.
“You were,” he said. “That’s why you’re breaking now. Because you didn’t allow yourself to then.”
Her eyes welled. “Do you think they hate me?”
“No,” Baldwin said at once. “They trust you. You earned that trust with blood and brilliance. You did what no one else could. You saw what none of us did.”
She was quiet a long moment.
“Do you hate me?” she asked, barely audible.
Baldwin’s breath caught.
His voice broke when he answered. “I could never.”
They stayed there, the fire warming their skin, the snow tapping gently at the windowpane behind them.
\---
“I’ve never told you something,” October said, voice raw. “Before I came here, before I met you... I made myself a promise. That I’d never belong to anyone again. That no matter what happened, I’d keep myself whole.”
She turned her face slightly toward him. “But it’s getting harder.”
“Why?” he whispered.
“Because every time I fall asleep beside you... every time I hear your voice... every time you look at me like this... I want to let go.”
Baldwin said nothing.
But he held her tighter.
She pressed her forehead to his arm. “What if I let go, and then you disappear? What if everything I’m building falls apart because I dared to need someone again?”
He leaned down, kissing her hair softly. “Then I’ll hold it with you.”
October’s breath hitched.
“You don’t have to fight alone anymore,” he whispered. “You never did. I just didn’t know how to show you before.”
“I thought strength meant being alone,” she said.
Baldwin’s hand moved over hers. “It doesn’t. It means knowing who to trust with the weight.”
They sat in silence again. But this time, it didn’t hurt.
This time, it healed.
\---
The Next Morning
The snow hadn’t stopped by sunrise.
When October woke, she was still in his arms. He was still there.
She looked at him quietly, studying the curve of his brow, the faint scar near his temple, the calm on his face. He wasn’t the King of the North in that moment.
He was just Baldwin.
And she realized... she wanted him to stay.
Not as a ruler. Not even as a protector.
Just as a man who saw her. All of her and she all of him.
And chose to stay.