Maya
I am hidden away in the alleyway next to the hotel. My driver was on his way, but I didn’t want Conrad to see me when he came running out after me. I couldn’t take being around him any longer. He is so damn beautiful and sweet, and if I stayed any longer, then I would probably have given in, taken my mask off and showed him who I really was; something that if it got back to Meredith, I could be fired.
It is better this way. It is better he never finds out who I am. I would ruin his perfect little life, and he wouldn’t even look my way if he saw me without all of this. I sigh, remove my mask, rest against the wall, and take a few deep breaths. I felt like I was suffocating wearing it, even though I could breathe with it.
The sound of my cell beeping pulls me from my thoughts. I glance down and see a text from Derrick to let me know he is here. I put my mask back on, just in case, and rushed over to find the car. He is standing by the car, waiting for me.
“Hello, Miss Maya.” He smiles.
“Hello again, Derrick,” I reply, smiling back.
He opens the car door for me, “How was your night?”
“Complicated.” I sigh.
“Oh, I am sorry. Let’s get you home.” He says sympathetically.
“Yes, please.” I agree and slide into the car.
He nods and closes the door behind me. I sigh and remove my mask again, sitting it next to me. I can’t wait to get out of this dress and clean all the make-up off. I am so glad I don’t have work tomorrow because I don’t think I could deal with it or Meredith tomorrow after tonight. All I want to do is shower, have a cup of tea and snuggle up in bed. That is my definition of a perfect night. Yes, it is pretty late, but I will need some time to wind down before I can fall asleep. A mug of tea and maybe a chapter of a book will help with it.
“Are you okay, Miss Maya?” Derrick asks.
“No, not really. I met the sweetest man tonight, and I can never be with him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he and I come from two different worlds. I couldn’t even tell him who I really was, or it could end with me losing my job. Even if I did, he wouldn’t want the real me.” I whisper.
“Well, whoever he is, if he couldn’t accept the real you, then that is his fault, not yours. He wouldn’t be worth it if he refused to take you as who you are.” He replies softly.
“I guess, but none of that matters now. I will never see him again. And even if I walked by him in the street, he wouldn’t recognise me. It is better this way.” I sigh and turn to stare out of the window.
“If it is meant to be, it will be.” He smiles.
I smile back and nod. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, so I change the subject. He is a wise man, and talking with him is a good distraction until I arrive home. Derrick gets out to come around and open the door for me, helping me out.
“Thank you, Derrick. You made my night a little easier. You are very sweet.” I smile.
“The pleasure was mine, Miss Maya. I hope everything works out for you. Maybe we will see one another again.” He says, returning a smile.
I thank him one last time before heading inside. The second I stepped into my apartment, I kicked my shoes off and fought to get the dress off, too. It takes a minute, but I manage—stupid thing. I feel like I can breathe now. I need to get all this damn make-up off.
I find my wipes in my bedroom and scrub my face until every bit of it is gone. I catch a glance of myself in the mirror and screw my face up. God, I really hate the way I look, but at least it is the real me and not hidden under all the make-up. I shake my head, gather what I need for my shower and stroll towards the bathroom.
I switch the shower on and step into it. I close my eyes and let the thoughts of the night dance through my mind. I find myself smiling at the idea of Conrad. His eyes. His smile. His laugh and the way he held me close when we danced. Why is he getting to me so much? I am not one for developing feelings quickly; I chose not to, to protect myself, but with Conrad, there seemed to be something there instantly. I don’t know how to describe what kind of feelings, but they were present.
I need to forget about tonight and him. It is better that way. I slide down the wall to the floor and let the warm water run over my body. My eyes fall on the scars on my thighs. I trace them with my fingers. They are reminders of my past and who I used to be. My way of dealing with things was to hurt myself. I don’t do it now. I am far from healed. I don’t know if I ever will be, but I deal with things better than I once did. To me, that is a step in the right direction.
I close my eyes and clear my thoughts, enjoying my shower for a little while before climbing out. I slip a towel around my body and hair, returning to my bedroom. I lie down on my bed, scrolling through my cell. I only have one for work, mostly. I don’t have anyone to talk to. If it weren’t for work, I probably wouldn’t have it. It is a reminder of how alone I am in the world.
The tears start to brim in my eyes, but I am quick to wipe them away. I dry off, change into my pjs and make myself a cup of tea. I pick a book, snuggle up on the sofa with a blanket and let myself get lost in the book world. I really wish my life was like the romance books I read, but I know that will never happen. I am not a person who gets what she wants. I don’t get all the good things in life. I just exist. It is partly my fault. I could have made a better life for myself, but sadly, my past stopped me from that. It is hard to make a life when you don’t trust anyone and close yourself off from the world. Maybe one-day things will change, but I won’t get my hopes up.
For now, I will plan on enjoying my day off tomorrow before I go back to work on Monday and deal with Meredith’s crap. The woman makes my life a living hell, and I am sure she enjoys it. I am sure she will have a million questions about tonight. I will tell her most, but leave out who I spent my night with.