Maya
I have adjusted to my new life the best I can. My job, the people, the island and my new home. It has still been the longest seven weeks of my life. I am not missing Conrad any less. With every passing day, I miss him more, and my heart breaks a little more, too. Everyone has been so lovely and supportive of me, especially Catherine and my work colleague Tillie. I am happy I picked here because if I went somewhere else, things would probably be worse, and I would be more isolated.
Today is my day off, and I am heading out. Every Sunday when I don’t have work, I spend a few hours at the local café, reading and doing some writing. They have become my escape recently. I started by writing only my feelings down to distract me from hurting myself, but it has turned into more. I have started writing a book based on my life and my relationship with Conrad. No one will ever read it. It is only for me, but it makes me feel better. I found myself missing studying since I had to drop out of college when I left. It was another reason I started writing.
“Enjoy your day off, sweetie. Will you be home for lunch?” Catherine asks.
“I will. I am not sure, but I will let you know. If you need me, text or call.” I smile.
I had gotten myself a new cell and a new laptop since I left them behind.
“Okay. I will see you at some point.” She smiles.
I head out. The café is only a ten-minute walk from the B&B. It is a little warmer today, so I am not as wrapped up as I usually am, but the place still takes my breath away every time I step outside.
I arrive at the café in no time, greeting the owners and taking my usual seat by the window. I place my order, which is always the same. Sottish oats with honey and slices up fruit, alongside a latte and some water. The owners are lovely. They have been very welcoming to me; everyone has been. Conrad would be in bliss here. The tears form my eyes at the thought of him, but I quickly wipe them away. I don’t want to cry today, not now anyway.
I set my laptop up, connected the WI-FI, and took my notepad out where I had been scribbling down notes. Today is different from other Sundays. I plan on sending Conrad an email. I don’t know if it is the right thing, but I have to. I need to let him know I am okay, and I need to know he is okay. It will be my first contact with him. It doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping an eye on him. I have been checking magazines, online sites, the company website, newsletters, and Chelsea and Adrian’s socials. I haven’t seen much about Conrad, though. I will check it again later once I have written my email. I open an email with my new address I set up recently and typed his in. I know it by heart, but I did write it down, along with his cell number, in case my mind goes blank somehow.
I stare at the subject line, trying to decide what to write. I finally decided on three simple words.
**I MISS YOU. **
I hope my reaching out doesn’t make things worse for him. I don’t want to make him sadder or angrier than he probably already is. I wonder if he is still trying to find me or if he has given up. I don’t think he would give up on me so easily. I would understand if I did, though.
I leave the email with only that for now. I will write it after my breakfast.
“Hey, sweetie, how are you this morning?” the owner, Margaret, asks as she brings my order.
“Good morning, Margaret. I am okay. I am finally going to email Conrad.” I say softly.
She knows all about it. The first day I came in here, she brought me a hot chocolate and a cookie over and gave me it on the house because I looked sad and lost. We got to talking and I shared my entire story with her.
“I am sure he will eagerly wait to hear from you. Hopefully, you can go home to him soon.” She smiles, patting my back.
I nod, “I hope so. Thank you.”
She leaves me to eat my breakfast. It is delicious, as always. Once I am done, I return my attention to my laptop. Here goes! I take a few deep breaths and begin to type.
**Conrad,
It is Maya. I didn’t want to use my name in my email address just in case Callum found out somehow.
I am sorry I haven’t reached out until now. I thought it was for the best, but I can’t wait any longer. I need to contact you. I miss you so much, my love. My life doesn’t feel right without you. You would love where I am; it is beautiful and calm. I am sorry if you are still hurting because of me.
I love you so much, and that still hasn’t changed. Our time apart is killing me and isn’t getting any easier. I wanted to reach out to let you know I am okay and to make sure you and your family are okay, too. Did Callum keep his promise? Has he stayed away?
I wish I could come home to you. I won’t tell you where I am to be safe. Please hold on a little longer. We will be reunited one day, and hopefully soon.
I love you, Conrad; don’t ever forget that. I will wait eagerly for a reply. I would understand if you didn’t after what I did, but I refuse to give up on us, on you, and I will continue to fight through everything needed to make things right until we can be together again and get married as we planned.
Maya xox
**
I stare at it for what feels like forever behind, finally hitting the send button. He should get it. It is his personal email, not his business, but he usually checks them daily. It will be four in the morning in New York. I won’t expect a reply straightaway. I close my laptop and get back to my coffee.
I admire the view outside as I do. It will break my heart if he doesn’t reply to me. All I can do is wait and see. It was time for me to reach out. It has nearly been two months since I left. Who knows, maybe if he replies, he will have good news for me and inform me that Callum has been caught. Then I can jump on the next flight back, but I won’t get too excited because there is a chance Callum still hasn’t been caught.