Chapter 5

Earlier I couldn’t think of any designs on clothes, Lana is still doing well. We are all here at home but my brain is in nowhere. Ever since it happened last night, I feel like I’m going crazy, sad and then thrilled, then surprised again.

“How to court a man?” I asked myself.

It was only then that I realized that Lana had been looking at me for a while, her eyebrows raised and she let go of her pencil. “You? Courting? Seriously?” she said still pointing her finger at me as if still disgusted.

“Y-Yeah, what’s wrong with that? Is there?” I asked again and this time she looked at me and stared.

She’s only like that once so I’m nervous about what she’s going to say. “Yes! And so ugly to look at.”

“Eh why are you angry?”

“No I’m not. I’m telling you to stop that nonsense. It’s okay to like Veron, but I hope you know your limits, you should know how far you’ve come, and find out should be when you give up when it comes to that kind of thing. I don’t want to get to the point where you just stay like that, in pursuit. Trust me Veron, you’ll just waste your time in pursuit. Why don’t you open your eyes and your heart to others ? Many people want to get you but you can’t see it because you are blinded by the love of the person you know can’t love you. I’m sorry Veron, even if you’re mad at me, it’s okay, I just don’t want the day to come you will regret the things you are doing now, ” was its long line that until now I didn’t know how to get into my brain.

“I’ll leave you here first. And one more thing, you are still in control of everything, you don’t have to follow what I said, but I hope you’re ready for whatever the outcome of what you did now and what you do. Is it okay? Even if you’re that stupid, I love you. “ Then she kissed me on the cheek and the last I heard was the door closing.

I could almost drop my body on the bed Avellana had laid earlier because of what she said. I don’t know why she’s like that, I don’t know if she has a menstrual today so she’s like that or maybe I’m doing something wrong. I can’t blame her either.

I’m just out of breath because of the weight of the air here in the room, until now Lana’s words to me still don’t come in completely, because sometimes when I do something wrong, nothing bad happens to me and I have no regrets . And one more thing, I won’t regret the claim I’m making, I’m happy.

Happy to be hurt.

I really feel that what she said before is right but I don’t know what is there, she still said that I control myself so meaning … I will still be followed! Right! I will be the one to follow!

I just left my messes with Lana because Lucas will also do something here and he will also be the cleaner. When I came out there were only a few people in the living room, my eyes searched for Lana but she was not there.

“Hey! Did you fight?” Lucas opened up to me while licking his apple.

“Who?”

“Lana of course.”

I stared past it and then sat on the sofa just next to him. “Lana? We didn’t fight, why?”

“It’s frowning, Jairo and Martin are being teased so that’s it, you two are depressed,” he said with a laugh as he recklessly gnawed on the food he was holding.

“Ahh maybe ahe has it now,”

“There are? Of which?”

“Blood probably,” I said here and then picked up the magazine in front of me.

I just cringed because of its frowning and staring at me. “Blood? Everyone has blood ah, and another Veron we also have blood but we don’t complain,” he defended what I said.

“You know how stupid you are! I mean he might have a something colour red!”

I decided to leave the house first and stay here at the hacienda to breathe a decent amount of air. I just started walking around, after all I’m already here at the hacienda. When I was faithful to a shady tree I immediately took refuge there, so I felt somehow cold in the feeling. The wind was just right and the combined warm weather.

I sat down first and then leaned on the trunk of a large tree, crossed my legs and then placed my hand over my thigh where I was comfortable. I always remember my outline, jusme. We are going to face another client, well, they are the ones who come to us on their own, especially this month when many people are getting married with in-demand wedding gowns, so for sure we are tired again.

Some people think it’s easy to design clothes, it’s a big no! It’s tiring for the brain especially if they have high expectations, because the first layout is just beautiful, they will immediately expect that the next work will be good, so the tendency is that we have to go beyond their packing expectations.

I hate Expectation… I hate that situation. So I couldn’t help but smile every time I remember my junior high school, the ‘I’ll never forget js prom at all. I feel different emotions whenever I think of those times. I’m just 15 years old and maybe enough to feel emotional especially if you like someone.

Way back when I was a highschool student, one of the saddest days of my life happened… I don’t know if it was fun to call it or maybe my brain was just really young so I didn’t notice things then. That woman I saw in the hospital yesterday was the woman for the first time I immediately envied.

Back then I just didn’t have that, but since I saw her yesterday, it seems like everything has come together. They have known each other for a long time then. It was just funny because I was crying so shallowly. I was alone at the table while watching Zaffiro with a dancing woman, and Kc, the woman in the hospital earlier. He was just like my sister, very quiet and beautiful, because only the rich could study there she was always mocked because she was the only one who was poor and received a scholarship. That’s why they used to be together often, especially when at the library, even though Zaffiro was graduating and we were still in our middle year, they still worked together. Sometimes it’s not enough that you’re just rich and beautiful, Kc and I are very different, maybe because she’s kind, even if she’s just poor, she’s smart.

And that’s what Zaffiro wants in a woman, the smart and decent. Maybe, being desperate tarnishes the image of a person, I thought back then, eh, the claim proves to know that you are loyal or what.

“Lana!” I shouted in the middle of my thought as the birds flew away.

I’m going crazy because I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore, my sisters are busy too. And one more thing, I don’t want to tell stories like this especially to Nikasha, it doesn’t seem like a sister to insult me, because I’m old enough to be alone, that’s okay, as long as they’re with me. She also has a bad temper, eh, I don’t know why she treats all men.

I got up to go back inside the house, just in case Lana was already there. But I also turned around when I heard a car approaching. Zaffiro’s car. My heart was pounding so hard that I couldn’t help but smile and wave properly but his car passed me immediately. Maybe he just didn’t see me.