Chapter 55: XXV. The Talk-1

"When I hear somebody talk about a horse or cow being stupid; I figure it's a sure sign that the animal has somehow outfoxed them." Tom Dorrance, True Unity: Willing Communication Between Horse & Human ---- Chapter XXV – The Talk "Mom, I need to ask you about something." Mom was standing at the sink, rinsing off our dinner plates. She was still wearing her work pants and a button-down shirt, but she had unpinned her hair, allowing it to fall down her back. She had had a good day today, which was why I was hoping that she wouldn't freak out when I asked her this question. Mom turned off the faucet and turned to face me, simultaneously drying her hands on a dish towel. "What the matter, hon?" she asked me. "How do you know when you're ready to have sex with someone?" Mom's green eyes widened to the point when I could no longer see her eyelids. Her jaw dropped, and her face paled. She looked as though she went through about six different sets of emotions before she was able to compose herself enough to answer me. "Sara, have you …?" "No!" I answered quickly. "No, I was just wondering." Mom breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, I suppose if I'm talking as a woman, and not your mom, then I would say that you're ready when you can fully trust that person, trust them with your whole self. You love them, and the person you're with brings out the very best in you. "But as your mom, honey, don't rush into anything. And don't feel pressured at all. Take it from someone who knows. With Daddy and I, it was a whirlwind. We rushed everything, all the firsts. So much so that it was a blur a bit of the time. I wish we had waited and made things a little more special than they were. "And as your doctor, sex leads to kids and diseases. Are you ready to be a mom? Are you ready for routine STI testing? Labour, crying, night feeds, cracked nipples, stretch marks, excess skin, a teenager who asks you terrifying questions?" Mom was barking scary words at me rapidly. But she had answered my question. Did I fully trust Shea? Did he bring out the best in me? I thought so, but my apprehension told me that I wasn't sure yet. Mom sighed. "I meant what I said about birth control," she said, referencing an earlier argument that we had had about Shea. "I understand it's different. You feel different. The connection isn't normal. But pregnancy is. I'm making you an appointment." Mom then wandered off, no doubt in search of her cell phone. Great. I had that to look forward to. I did the same thing. I had purposely left my phone in my bag upstairs. I had been avoiding speaking to Shea after everything that had happened today. As soon as I checked my phone, I saw that I had a missed call from Shea, and a text message asking me to call him when I could. As soon as I saw that, I could feelthe restraint in him. He had wanted to check on me, but he wasn't allowing himself to in order to keep pressure off of me. I needed to put him out of his misery and stop punishing him for his nature. I also needed to stop being such a wuss, as my nerves were directly affecting his insecurities and I didn't want that. I tapped his number and he answered on the first ring, like always. "Sara," he breathed, though sounding hesitant. "Sorry it's so late," I whispered. "I've been thinking a lot about what happened today." "Yeah?" he murmured fearfully. I gulped. "Sex is a really awkward thing for me to talk about because I am so new to all of this. And you're right, I need to communicate better. I'm really good at keeping my thoughts to myself." "Yes, you are," he replied. "I'm not ready yet," I said firmly. "But I promise to tell you when I am." "That's okay, Sara," he assured me. "You know I will do whatever you ask, whatever you say." I smiled. "I know." "Sara." "Yeah?" "I love you, you know." His voice was soft and calm. Constant. "I know. I love you, too," I breathed. *** The next few weeks of our relationship could only be described as flawless. I was deliriously happy, and well aware that I was blissfully in the honeymoon period of my first real relationship. Shea was an amazing boyfriend. He picked me up every day for school, he bought me thoughtful gifts, even if it was just a coffee from Sally's I appreciated it. Shea often sat in one of the booths at Sally's while I worked doing his homework, just so we could spend a little more time together between customers. He was also really attentive to my mom, who I believed was warming up to him little by little. He never uttered the word "lycan" and he tried to make her feel as comfortable about him as possible. And occasionally he would sleep over. Though Mom didn't know about that last part. We hadn't done anything more than kiss, but I was feeling more and more comfortable with Shea by the day. He was so good to me that I honestly wondered what I could bring to the relationship. Shea had assured me that I brought everything just by being with him. Shea hadn't really spoken to me much about what he was going through in the pack. There would be times when I could tell that his mind was elsewhere, and when I asked him, he brushed it off as nothing. I wondered if, like my mom, he was afraid of scaring me off if he told me too much. I wanted to assure him that this wouldn't be the case, but I wasn't entirely sure if that was true. My mother was one of the strongest women I knew, and yet, this had been too much for her. What would it be like for little old me? But it was now late November, and I hadn't heard anything further about Lex since my last encounter with him. I hoped that meant that he would be staying away, or finally giving up whatever vendetta he had against Shea and me. In the world of high school, late November meant it was time for the big away game. The entire football team, football staff, cheerleading squad, and half the student body were all getting on busses and in their cars and travelling to Charlotte. That meant hotel rooms.