Chapter 40: XVIII. Lycan-1

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." William Shakespeare, Hamlet ---- Chapter XVIII – Lycan You know when you're little, and you dream about fairy tale worlds, and wish that they're true. You see these magical places on television and you just know that life is bliss there. You'll meet Prince Charming. You'll have some great dresses to wear. So what if there's a few monsters. The heroes will get them in the end. Well, turns out that it's all true, except there are no castles, and people can turn themselves into giant dogs at will. And I had one standing in my bedroom, right in front of me. I didn't know whether to be afraid of him. He didn't look very frightening right now, considering I had just sucked all the air out of his lungs with one word. But knowing what Shea could do, it scared me. I think anyone would be scared. That was normal, right? Who I am kidding? Nothing about this is normal. "How did you find out? Who told you?" Shea asked angrily once he had regained some of his composure. I was immediately reminded of Cece. Obviously everyone in Shea's controlwas sworn to secrecy. I blinked. "I think what you meant to say is, "Oh, Sara, I'm so sorry for lying to you. Let me explain everything and help you not to be scared of me."" The word scared seemed to snap him out of his anger completely. And for the first time I saw him move faster than I'd ever seen anything in my life move. In less than a millisecond, he was by my side, holding my hands in his. I fell backwards at the sheer speed in which he had moved, but I didn't fall. Shea was holding me, rubbing my arms, and whispering that it would be okay. "You never have to be scared of me, Sara. I would die before letting anything or anyone hurt you," he told me intensely. But I could see the truth in his eyes, and for some reason, I calmed down a little. I felt my heart relax and I wasn't breathing such shallow breaths. And then I remembered reading about lycans and monogamy. They mated for life. Could … could Shea really feel that way about me? I mean, we had barely been on a proper date. For most of the time that we had known each other, I was being ignored. How could he know? Did I know? Did I feel that way? I wasn't so sure. I liked him, for some crazy reason, despite all this. But mating? The word just sounded weird. How could that even work? I was just a normal person. "I can hear your heartbeat," he said quietly. "It often picks up around me, which I like very much, but you're calmer now." Let's pretend thatwasn't entirely embarrassing. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him, looking up at him vulnerably. Shea smiled slightly. "This isn't exactly first date conversation. Or second date." "Shea," I said impatiently. "I've never had to have this conversation before. Everyone I've ever socialised with, my friends, my family … girls, they've all been like me, they've all already known." Cece turns into a wolf. Zoey turns into a wolf. Oh my God. "It wasn't my intention to keep this from you forever. I just wanted to keep you out of it while we … sorted out a conflict." "Lex," I deduced. He must be a wolf, too. "He is a very dangerous person. Very volatile and unpredictable, and with a huge grudge against me and those I protect," Shea said firmly. He led me over to my bed so that we could sit down. I kept a few feet between us and I could see that Shea noticed, but he didn't push me. I had so many questions that I didn't know where to start. "Can I ask how you figured it out?" Shea asked. "Or did someone tell you? I gave the order to keep you in the dark, so if someone did tell you, I need to know. Was it Cece?" "Nobody told me," I rebuffed quickly. "I just pieced it together. Lex called me something, and someone said the same term again last night, so I searched it online. I basically followed a trail from Luna to lycan and went with the crazy theory." I still wasn't entirely sure what a Luna was, and how I was one, considering I was not in any way, shape or form a lycan. I was a normal, ordinary teenage girl from New York. "I guess I didn't realise how smart you are," Shea murmured, though looking impressed. "What is a Luna?" I couldn't help myself. "A Luna is our term for the mate of the Alpha. She is the female leader of the pack. A matriarch of sorts," Shea explained carefully. Alpha. I had read that. He was the leader. Shea was the leader. I tried to make it make sense in my head, but it was all still a jumble. "I just don't understand how this is at all possible." "I know it must seem surreal and unbelievable. You're not alone in your reaction. Every human that has ever found out about us has reacted in the same way. We are an evolved species, just like humans, and just like every other mammal. Our genetic makeup allows us to manipulate our DNA and shift into another form. As we have evolved over the millennia, we've gained control and are able to blend in with society seamlessly." It felt like something you would learn about in a biology lesson. It sounded completely logical. The way Shea explained it made it seem perfectly normal that people could just manipulate their own DNA. "Holy shit, Shea," I said, exhaling. Shea laughed lightly. "I know. Holy shit." "Alpha," I said, pulling whatever words I could recall from the internet. "You?" I wasn't meaning to speak in one-word sentences, but it was all the words that my brain was sending to my mouth. Shea nodded. "Yes, I am Alpha. My father was before me, and I was thrust into the role when he died a few years ago, like I told you." He paused for a second. "The chain of command is very important for our strength as a pack. I am the leader, and I am obeyed. It might seem … archaic, but it's how it has always been. Every order, every decision, is for the safety of the pack, and the people who are in my care. I take my role very seriously." I could tell. Shea seemed very dominant when he was speaking about being Alpha. He was a leader. "But I don't understand why they would call me a Luna. I mean I'm not … I can't …" It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I wasn't the Luna. Perhaps someone else was meant to be the Luna. Someone that was a lycan and could lead alongside Shea. I mean, of course there was. That wasn't me. There was no way I belonged in that world.