Chapter 24: XI. Cold-2

Mom looked up at me, although I could see that her green eyes were glassy. Oh, my God. Was she about to cry? I couldn't ask her about Shea coming for dinner now. Instead, I went to her and hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms around me even tighter. "Thanks for letting me go. It means a lot," I whispered. Mom let out a half laugh, half sob. "Go and wash your hair," she said, rubbing my back affectionately. I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Not while I was in the shower. It took the water turning cold for me to realise the conditioner had been in my hair for nearly a half hour. The kiss was on my mind as I dressed in my pyjamas and as I got in bed. Goddammit, I wanted to do that again. Never in my life had anything felt so right. It felt so right that the time in which we had known each other was fading away. I was losing all concern for it. Before I went to sleep, I grabbed my phone and send Shea a text. I was trying to be funny, and flirtatious, both of which I had little experience in. As far as kisses go, that does make my top ten. He had to know that was my first kiss. I surely wasn't that good at it. My phone vibrated seconds later with his reply. Only top ten, huh? Well, my goal is now to crack the top five. I laughed. I loved his sense of humour, but I was secretly glad I could look forward to another kiss. I quickly typed back my reply. I don't know. That's a tough field to beat. Will take some serious practice. Challenge accepted. I've got to go, babe. Family drama, you know. I'll speak to you tomorrow x Shea seemed to have a lot of that. Family drama with his mom. Family drama with Zoey's parents. Family drama with Lex. I knew it was none of my business, but I wondered if he would ever tell me. He seemed to want to keep me out of it, at least, that's how it seemed when he reacted so negatively to Lex being at the party. Shea was so used to carrying burdens by himself. I hoped, maybe, one day he might share them with me. These broad shoulders had to come in handy sometime. Night x I fell asleep dreaming about that practice. *** In the midst of a deep sleep, I started to dream that I was hearing voices. Two voices specifically. Shea's and my mom's. They seemed clear to me, as though they were speaking close in proximity to me. They seemed to be arguing. A foreshadowing perhaps. "I will not have my daughter around you and your lot," my mom hissed. Why did she have to be angry in my dream? Why couldn't she be happy and accepting? "You need to leave her alone." Shea's voice was quiet, and he sounded tired and hurt. No. I didn't want him in pain. I felt my subconscious reach out to him, but like always, when you're dreaming, you can never touch. "You know why I can't do that," Shea's voice replied. "Well, you can damn well try," Mom shot back. "She's not safe with you!" "I can protect her," Shea growled. He sounded angry now. Stop arguing! I willed my subconscious. Make up! Be friends! Be happy. But it didn't work. Mom scoffed. "You can't even protect yourself!" she retorted. Her voice was like acid. Shea didn't say anything. Where had I got that thought from? Why on earth would I think that Shea couldn't protect himself? "Not many people would ever dare speak to me like that, Dr Bryant," Shea said after a moment of quiet. "I'm a mother, Shea." Mom's voice had calmed during the silence. She sounded just as intense, but not as emotional. "You'll understand when you have your own daughter one day just the lengths you will go to protect her. Sara isn't like you," she said slowly, emphasising the last word. "She isn't," she insisted. "You know it, and I know it. So you know she isn't safe with you, with any of you. You need to leave her alone. You know it's the right thing to do. If you care about her the way you say you do, then you will do this. She is not safe, and it is clear by the state of you that you're out of your depth. Deal with it in your own way, but for God's sake, leave my baby out of it!" I couldn't understand where my subconscious was pulling this argument from. My imagination was running wild, dreaming up all sorts of nonsense for my mom to be afraid of. Shea didn't speak again for a while. I think I drifted in and out of the dream, occasionally hearing Shea sigh, suck in breaths and grunt strange noises, but eventually I heard him utter, "Thank you," to my mom. I didn't hear anything else. My dream shifted after that, back to imagining the next time I would get to kiss Shea. I hoped it would be tomorrow. When I woke up the next morning, I didn't feel rested. That dream I had was lingering in my head, bothering me. I knew it was just in my head but I wanted to quickly text Shea. I didn't like the idea of him feeling or sounding hurt, even if it was just in my subconscious. Good morning! Sorry if I wake you. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you x I hit send before I realised what a textbook, cliché girlfriend I sounded like. I never thought I would be one of those people who sent sappy good morning texts but yet here I was. Shea always replied instantly to my messages, so I waited a moment for him to reply with something similar. But the little dots telling me he was typing didn't appear. Weird. I'm going to ask my mom about tonight. I'll let you know what she says.