Chapter 11: V. Falling-2

"Sara?" his voice brought me out of my panic. "What are you thinking?" And Zoey wasn't the only one. How many girls had he been with to distract himself? I was clearly the next girl he wanted to distract himself with. What would happen when he realised that I wasn't going to jump into bed with him? Would he move onto the next girl who would? That thought was actually devastating. "I'm sorry," I said breathlessly. "I have to go." I then hung up the phone abruptly, throwing it away from me as though it had burned me. It immediately started to vibrate as he called me back. I threw my robe on top of my phone. To get away from it, I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and hair. I fixed my hair in a braid and then got into bed, though I knew I wasn't going to be getting any restful sleep. I dozed in between my phone vibrating. Shea was texting me every five minutes. By the tenth message I switched my phone off. Mom would check on me in the morning to make sure I was up. I was awoken some time later by a tapping sound on my window. I didn't know what time it was as my phone was off, but my bedroom was pitch black. I almost went back to sleep, but I heard the noise again. Someone was throwing stuff up to my window. I got out of bed and opened my curtains. In the illumination of the street lights, I could see that Shea was standing down on the ground with another pebble in his hand ready to throw. What if this had been my mom's window? I slid my window up and stuck my head out. "What are you doing?" I hissed down at him. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" I mean, I didn't know, but that was beside the point. Shea dropped the pebble. "You hung up on me and then didn't return my messages!" he hissed back at me. "So, you thought you'd stalk me in the middle of the night!" I cried, and then covered my mouth. I could not wake my mom up. There would be no good way to explain this. "I had to make sure you were okay! For all I knew you could have been a victim of a home invasion and that's why you didn't return my messages." I rolled my eyes. "Right, so your first conclusion for a girl not texting you back is murder at the hands of a burglar?" I retorted sarcastically. "Not merely that perhaps she doesn't want to talk right now." "Well, when you put it like that …" he said sheepishly. "Shea!" I snapped. "Sara!" he shot back. "What did I do? Is it Zoey? Please, that's nothing." I was not about to have this conversation. I went to close my window, but Shea immediately leapt onto the trellis. I watched in awe as he performed some serious parkour as he scaled the side of my house. He appeared at my window in seconds, holding onto the window sill with one arm, which was supporting his entire body weight. Oh my God, he was strong. "Sara," he said softly. I could see the earnest in his eyes. "I freaked you out. I'm sorry. Please, tell me how I can make it better. I don't want this to stop." Could I tell him? This was so embarrassing. I really didn't want to admit this, but here he was, hanging off the side of my house. He wasn't going to leave until I told him. "Shea, I'm not like other girls!" I hissed, humiliated, my cheeks blushing. I was so glad it was dark. Shea frowned. "Okay …?" "I can't be a distraction. I'm not going to sleep with you!" I slapped my hands over my face to hide my embarrassment and stepped away from the window. Now he was going to leave. He was going to drop down and run off to find Zoey or one of the other girls in his pictures. He now knew he wasn't going to get what he wanted from me. Do it quickly. Break my heart quickly. But he didn't leave. The next thing I knew Shea was peeling my hands away from my face. He was inside my room, looking down at me tenderly. He placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "Sara, the feelings that I have for you go way beyond using you for a simple distraction. I don't want you for two weeks in the summer. I want you for a hell of a lot longer than that. I don't expect anything from you that you're not comfortable with." He spoke so sincerely. My legs felt like Jell-O, as though I was going to collapse on the floor right in front of him. But how could he mean that? How could he be satisfied with handholding and maybe, maybe, my first kiss when I wasn't so insecure and nervous. "But you're just going to leave when you get bored of me," I worried out loud. Shea exhaled in frustration. "Goddammit, Sara. I wish you could understand. I wish you knew …" he trailed off. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest, right over his hard, left pectoral. But once I had got through the muscle, I could feel his pulse. His heart was racing. "You've got no idea what you do to me," he said intensely. "I hope you can trust me. I won't break your heart. Do you promise not to break mine?" His question was so serious, but the idea seemed ludicrous to me. As if I could ever break his heart, or anyone's heart! "How could I?" "Trust me, you could." His head suddenly perked up. "Your mom's awake," he whispered. "I'm guessing she wouldn't want to find a guy in your room." Quicker than anything, Shea was out the window, having closed it behind him. I couldn't hear anything! But suddenly I could hear movement. Mom was up, and she was crossing the landing to check on me. I launched into my bed, throwing my blankets over me and feigning sleep. I closed my eyes tightly as I heard my bedroom door open. Mom lingered there for a moment before closing it again. Had she heard? Would she ask me about it in the morning? I prayed she wouldn't. I honestly would have no idea how to explain this.