Chapter 19

I walk through the streets in a blur. My apartment is nine blocks from Tristan's and since it's so late, I haven't been able to hail a taxi. It's nearing midnight by the time I grasp the railing of the stairs outside my building. I suck in a breath and bring my hand to my lips, unable to stop the contractions in my chest. I'm horrified and embarrassed- belittled... I sit down on the steps, dropping my head into my hands. I'm so stupid. He honestly was too good to be true. "Genevieve." I look up, finding Tristan standing before me in a t-shirt and jeans. His car keys are in his hands. "Oh god, just go, Tristan!" I utter, wiping my eyes. I stand up, turning but he grabs my hand. "Just listen to me, Genevieve. Please." "No! No, I trusted you!" I shout, tears escaping my lids. They burn my cheeks as they travel down at the speed of light. "I have never lied to you." "You didn't even have the guts to tell her about me! I felt like a fucking whore, Tristan! I know I'm a hell of a lot more than just a lay for you! I'm not some piece of shit nothing just because I don't have millions to blow." "You are everything, Genevieve! You are beautiful and pure and smart. You intimidate her! That is why she did that." I stare at him, my chest heaving against my will. "Why does she still think you're together, Tristan? Why? Why did she say you were cheating with me in Thailand?" He looks down, running a hand through his hair, aggravated. "Because I told her before I left that I wanted to take a break. I told her to see other people... I officially ended it after the airport incident so I have no idea why she's still carrying on with this." I look down, shaking my head. He was on a break in Thailand. "I can't- I can't do this... I'm sorry." "Why?" "Because I've dealt with this bullshit all my life, Tristan!" I shout, pulling my hair. "Because I feel like I can't trust you!" "You can trust me, Genevieve. I care for you so much... more than I have for anyone! I just met you and I already feel like- like-" His words fade as he looks down, his hands on his hips. "Look, Genevieve... Please. I know what happened back there was bad- I know it looked really bad... She had another set of keys made. That's the only reason she was able to get inside." I stare at him silently. I want to believe him. I really want to but my past and Casey's words are fresh on my mind and all I want to do is be alone. "Goodnight, Tristan." "Why are you doing this, Genevieve?" he asks, reaching hesitantly for my hand. I don't let him take it. "I know this isn't what you want either." "Of course it's not!" "So why are you pushing me away?" "Because-" "Don't say it's because of what went down in my apartment. I know it isn't that." I stare at him, unmoving, arms crossed in front of my body. In a brave move, he steps forward and moves my mangled hair away from my face with a gentle pull of his fingers. "Tell me." "I don't want to get hurt anymore, Tristan and- and as good as you are as a person, I'm just scared that as a lover- I'm scared you're going to hurt me." "I would never want to hurt you, Gen." He rests his hands on my arms softly, rubbing. "... I'm just going to have to show you that I'm not those other men." He tilts my face up with his fingers, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Okay?" His arms come around me tightly, so tight that I'm worried for his injuries. "Alright?" I lean my cheek onto his shoulder, letting out a shaky breath before I relinquish my anger, uncross my arms and wrap my hands around him in return. "Let me come up," he murmurs, stroking my hair. I open my eyes and stutter. "I-I don't want to- to-" He smiles gently, shaking his head. "I just want to sleep next to you." After a moment, I nod, exhaling in surrender. ... I settle onto the bed, still in the dress and nothing else, dropping my purse onto the ground. I feel Tristan slide in beside me, silently, the air thick with unanswered questions and hesitance. I lay my head onto the pillow, sighing as my eyes begin to close involuntarily. "Goodnight, Tristan." "Goodnight, Genevieve." ... My eyes open slowly, heavily as a ray of sun wakes me, shining bright through the window. I scrunch my eyes tight together and then reopen them, lifting my cheek off of Tristan's muscular chest. It seems I was drawn to him in my sleep, not that I'm surprised. I look over him at the clock, seeing it's 7am. Detaching myself from him, I sit up, running a hand through my hair. Last night's fiasco is still fresh on my mind, although I try to push it back. I want this to work. He means so much to me- too much in such this small amount of time... but then I should have expected that... This will never be an ordinary relationship. We somehow got stuck in the position of saving each other as strangers and now we're doing this all backwards. We're getting to know each other with the heaviness of what's already happened between us- something that's changed us forever. Of course I feel stronger for him than I ever have with anyone else. Of course I do. I feel the bed move behind me and within moments, his arm comes around my shoulder, over my front as his lips press softly to the back of my head. I close my eyes, relaxing into his embrace. "I'm sorry, Genevieve." I nod, clutching his hand by my shoulder. "I know. I am too." "... Let's spend the day together... Just go for a drive and see where we end up." I smile, turning my head to look at him. "Don't you have work?" "I have a meeting in an hour. It won't last long- I'll take off the rest of the day. It will be just you and me." "Okay," I whisper, my voice small. ...