Did she think I'd hit her? Suddenly images bombarded my head, so fast, so blurry, my head spun for a moment. I shook it off, saw Raven sashaying to the other end of the counter. "Do you really believe somebody as messed up as you could love someone?" she continued, plucking a strawberry in a bowl, taking her time biting into it. "And what do you think she'll say when she finds out about your fucked up dad? And your fucked up mom." She bit into it again, tossed the remaining fruit in the bowl. "But the real question is, do you think she's going to stay once she finds out what you've done?" "She knows about Pete." There was a pause from her as though she was caught off guard. Then a smirk appeared on her mouth. "My, my. You finally had the balls to talk about that poor boy? That poor, poor welfare boy." She clucked her tongue. "You couldn't save him then, could you?" I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, tried to control my breathing. Fuck. But the anger was there, swallowing all of my self control so that I found myself grabbing the glass she'd put on the counter, and in a second, I was hurling it against the wall. It shattered, raindrops of crystal glass in the air. "Temper, temper." "Why don't you marry that guy you were chasing after and get the fuck out of my life?" "Come on now, baby. Don't say things you don't mean." She smiled. "I dropped that man. He turned out to be boring, gave in so easily. Besides, you need me to remind you what happened in your past. You don't remember everything, do you?" My heart was beating so fast against my chest it started to hurt. "We all have secrets, Cameron, but yours is pretty heavy. And because of that, you're going to have to pay a heavy price. You agree, don't you, my love?" "You make me sick." "You still have those nightmares?" she asked casually. "Screaming in your sleep, crying your little heart out. You used to sleepwalk when you were a kid. Weird stuff. Do you still do that?" She walked back to pick up the wine bottle on the counter, found it empty and tossed it in the sink. It bounced a few times but didn't break. "What does your girlfriend say about them? Is she creeped out? Because, darling, let me tell you, no matter how much I love you, that creeped me out." She reached below the bar counter and produced a bottle of champagne, plucked a new wineglass. "But you were the most beautiful boy. Everywhere we went, people flocked over you, wanting to take a look." She used a wine opener, giggled when the cork popped out, poured bubbles in the glass. "You looked like an angel. And turns out, you are one, baby. Because you saved me." I froze. "You saved my life," she repeated. "Tell me, do you still blame yourself? Don't. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. But I'm worried what your girlfriend might think once she finds out what you did for me." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "I owe you my life, just like you owe me yours. You saved me. I would never let anything happen to you then and I sure as hell won't let anything happen to you now." I stood up, the chair toppling behind me. I barely noticed the noise it made as it hit the floor. My hands shook. I looked at them, trying to control the trembling but it wouldn't stop. "I can see now you just can't handle it. You're still a child." She shook her head, pity in her dark eyes. She crossed over to me, standing an arm's length away. "You did it for mommy, Cameron. My brave little baby boy. You were so young." I could hear my breaths, loud and harsh and ragged. You did it for mommy. You did it for mommy. My knees trembled and I sunk to the floor. You did it for mommy. "No." I smashed my hands against my ears, desperate to block the sound of voices in my head. It was hard to breathe, hard to think. My throat had closed up, my chest felt tight. I was going to fucking die here. I didn't. I didn't do it. Did I? "You did," Raven whispered. I looked up. The pity in her eyes tasted like poison, like hellfire. "You did it, Cameron. For me. For mommy." No. She was lying. She was fucking lying. "Am I? Am I really, Cameron? How can you tell? Only I know the truth about you. About what really happened that night. Don't you remember the gun?" The pain was too great, the rage, the disillusionment. The self-hatred. I felt it like the weight of the world was in my chest. Why couldn't I remember anything? Was it true? Was my nightmare real? Did I... Did I... I remembered everything now. The dream. The dream was real. But no. It couldn't be. Reality and what my fucked up mind had produced mixed together like smashed paints on a wall. I couldn't separate the colors, couldn't tell which was real and fake. "Let me do one thing for you now." She leaned forward, cupping my cheek. "I'm not going to let her hurt you, confuse you anymore. I'm going to take care of that little girlfriend you have, Cameron. Like mom always does." "No!" I swatted her hand away, stood in a flash, and had her shoulders pinned against the wall. Her eyes glittered. "You going to use those hands on me? Why don't you put them around my neck?" I watched the longest smile slowly wash over her face. "Just like your father. You're just like him, Cameron." I jerked my hands away as though she'd burned me. Images bombarded my head. Painful, torturous, hateful images. Were they real? "Don't you fucking touch her. Don't you fucking touch Kara." "Or what?" "Or I'll fucking kill you." She grinned. "My work's done here. You stay away from her and I will stay away from her." I turned my back, walked out. I heard the click of her heels behind me, but didn't turn around. "Oh, Cameron!" she called out. I kept walking. "We should have dinner some time. Call me!" The elevator doors opened, and I stumbled inside. "I'll see you soon, darling!" They closed mercifully. And I'm alone at last in my own personal hell.