Chapter 73

A huge and thick layer of ice, preventing any new sensation except for the infinite, suffocating cold. I stare at her face, my lips trembling, my eyes filled with tears, my fists clenched, and the terrible urge to scream.

"You were never my mother. I should feel relieved, right? But why don’t I? Why does it hurt so much?"

The tears escape uncontrollably.

"This is the big justification I was searching for, and it has finally arrived, but it comes with so many ellipses. Who am I? What did you do?"

"Clayre, I had postpartum depression. I didn’t want to have this conversation with you. I thought I wouldn’t have to. The truth is simple."

She pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I’m not your mother, and I always hated you."

She confesses coldly, calculatingly, with no trace of kindness in her eyes.

"One day after giving birth, I was overwhelmed by stress, psychological trauma, I lost my mind, and…"

She pauses, and I already know what she’s going to say. It’s horrible, painful.

"I didn’t want to end my own daughter’s life. I was out of my mind, and your real father didn’t want you. He gave you to me. I accepted—"

"Enough!"

I interrupt, a searing pain tearing through my chest. I had rehearsed what to say, but hearing her confess her rotten nature, along with the shocking revelation, leaves my mind completely blank.

"You’re horrible. You don’t need to finish. I don’t want to hear any more."

I cover my ears with my hands, overwhelmed.

"What you did is unforgivable. And no, no, there is no justification."

I lower my hands from my face and point a finger at her.

"You are bitter, cruel, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you."

Liana smiles.

"I didn’t ask for your forgiveness, nor do I need it. I did you a favor by taking you in. I gave you a father, a life, and probably even a boyfriend that you stole from me. My only regret was accepting you that night. Even if you had stayed with your real family, you would never have had a mother, because yours died."

She reveals with irony.

"I even gave you the right to call me mother, but you’re so ungrateful that you came back for revenge and took my life, my fiancé. But you will never take my son."

Liana places a hand on her belly.

"I will tell the baby about the fake, disgusting sister he has—a traitor, a manipulator, and a whore."

"I forgive you!"

Her eyes widen.

"Maybe you need to hear that to cleanse your soul. To be a better person and stop lying. You just needed to tell the truth. And contrary to your assumptions, I didn’t come back for revenge. I never even wanted to live with you, but I gave in to my father’s request.

Your love—I always wanted it. That’s the truth. Every single day, I missed you. But the problem is all in you. You are so malicious, so narcissistic, that it became impossible for you to love me. You knew you wouldn’t be a match, yet you fed hope in my heart just to destroy me."

I scream, swallowing my sobs, drawing on the strength I had rehearsed so hard to have.

"Girl, even if I had a chance, I wouldn’t have saved you. I would have let you die."

The pain tightens in my chest, my tears burn relentlessly, and I swallow hard, trying to control myself.

"You are deceitful. Your forgiveness is fake."

She states with a look of disgust.

"I hate you. Not because you’re not my mother, but because you could have been, and instead, you chose to cause pain."

I turn and walk toward the elevator, stopping just before stepping inside.

"Now I understand. You and that Harry guy just wanted to scam Jack. Did you think having his child would make you rich? What happened? Did you fall in love, and I came along to ruin your scheme?

You don’t actually need forgiveness because you never had any integrity to begin with."

I step inside quickly and press the button without looking at her. I never want to see her face again.

She destroyed my life. I don’t want to hear about family, about anything that could also destroy my soul.

Every day that Gerald was with me, healing, it was to deal with the same pain that is now mine. He knew he wasn’t my father, yet he never stopped acting like one. On the contrary, he loved me even more.

The sobs come hard, tearing through my chest in bitterness, in agony.

I expected anything—maybe harsh words, declarations that she had tried to love me—but these are too heavy.

She killed her own daughter? My biological father gave me away to this narcissist? What kind of people are these? Who treat a child like merchandise?

And why does it feel like I have no value at all in this moment?

I leave the building in a daze, walking the streets with clenched fists, directionless, just allowing my heart to settle.

"What will become of me? Who am I really?"

***

The sea breeze touches my face as I take off my shoes and sink my feet into the sand. My phone vibrates in my right hand while I keep my fists clenched, gripping it tightly. I wipe my eyes to see better and confirm that it's Jack. I know he knows everything, that he lied once again to protect me, and I can’t be angry—I just want to hear his voice.

"Jack..." I mumble with a trembling voice.

"Clayre, my love, where are you? If you don’t tell me, Kal will get a punch for helping you sneak out."

He teases playfully, but I can't smile.

"She’s not my mother."

He falls silent, and I hear the background noise of music and people.

"This really broke me."

I confess, feeling another tear roll down my face.

"Clayre, she’s sick. Where are you?"

"I don’t want to see you."

"Love, don’t say that."

He pleads sadly.

"I don’t want to hear anything about this family that rejected me. I don’t want to know—it hurts too much to be rejected twice. I won’t let it happen a third time. I would die inside."

"Love, you’re at your little spot, on the beach—I heard the sound of the waves. Don’t move, I’m coming."

I hang up without answering him, standing still, staring at the sea.

The pain is paralyzing, as if I were made of wax and unable to move my body, but my mind won’t stop. It replays Liana’s words over and over. She really is sick, but she’s also cruel. The black hole she left in me may never close. What if everything falls apart?

I remain motionless, feeling the fine, rough texture of the sand beneath my fingers. I don’t know how long I stay like this, holding my heart in my hands, trying to piece it back together. I see someone stop beside me and sit down. I don’t dare look, assuming it’s Jack.

"Clayre..."

But it’s not.

I tilt my head to see Baylor.

"What are you doing here? Me?"

Startled, I scan my surroundings and see Jack sitting on the sidewalk in the distance, waiting.

"What’s going on?" I ask, confused.

"Jack told me you were sad."

I huff in frustration.

"I’m scared. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to be rejected by a new family..."

I confess, sobbing uncontrollably, my fears tormenting me.

"I think I would have preferred not knowing. That way, it wouldn’t hurt."

He stares at the stars intently, and instead of looking sad for me, he seems calm.

"Do you remember when I told you I lost two important people in my life?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Well, it was my father and my sister. I was ten years old when she left. I spent my days helping my mother, and I was so happy to finally have someone to take me out of my loneliness. I loved the idea of having a sister to take care of, to play with, to share my life with."

I furrow my brows in confusion, my mind trying to process his words.

"She died at birth, Clayre. I never got to know her—until two months ago."

Baylor pulls out his wallet, takes out a piece of paper, and hands it to me.

"What is this?"

I take it, my hands trembling, and begin to open it, feeling lost.

"I wanted a sister so badly that I would have shared even a part of myself if necessary."

His words are enough to make my emotions explode.

My eyes blink uncontrollably, tears spilling endlessly as the paper reveals a 100% compatibility result.

Baylor is my brother. He is my family.

My father and Jack were bringing him into my life in a way that wouldn’t be painful.