Chapter 12

Skylar looked over the shades of black casted by the moon’s glow over the darkened houses and the resting trees before her as she sat on the front steps of the house. The night was still except for the movement of the cold, refreshing breeze wafting through the air like droves of dancing pixies. They swirled around her, cocooning her silhouette with a winter like chill. Skylar swayed, sliding the palm of her hands under her thighs to insulate them. Her fingers tips had been growing icy and numb, the hairs on her arms prickling to life as if called to fulfil some great purpose.

The door eased open behind her, the characteristic sound of male shoes erasing her need to turn around. Thomas tugged at his pants legs and crouched down beside her. He inhaled a large supply of oxygen as if he had to accustom himself to the atmosphere. His arm brushed against hers, their legs millimetres apart. The step really hadn’t been wide enough for them both, his body much larger and wider than her own.

“It’s quiet here.” He observed lazily, scanning over the very landscapes that Skylar could probably draw from sheer memory. It would definitely not look the same and she was certain she’d butcher the scene; her talents had never lied in the delicate arts. A pity really, she envied artists and their power of creation. All she’d ever learned to do was find beauty in destruction.

“It’s the sole reason I choose this area to live in.” She admitted to him, cocking her head to the side and dazing off while peering at the stars. The waning orchestra of chirping crickets guiding her under the star’s spell, “Everyone keeps to themselves around here so it’s peaceful.” She divulged as if in a trance. Skylar had one goal since her father died and that was to provide for her mother. But, adjusting to a normal life had been difficult at first. She had to learn the art of pretence.

Pretending to care about acknowledging people as they passed her by or if she knew them. She’d learnt that one was considered rude for those transgressions, but she had never been used to it. She’d grown up not harassing someone unless there was something you needed to say to them, otherwise, go on your own way.

In society, even if someone didn’t like you very much and you them, it was customary to acknowledge each other with a fake ‘hello, how are you?’. Skylar had grown easily exhausted and drained. By the time she could afford to move her and her mother out of their one-bedroom apartment she craved a sanctuary.

When she found this particular house she’d come to realise that while the neighbourhood was friendly, it didn’t border on invasive. Everyone went about their business just fine and there was no obligation for Skylar to be neighbourly or to entertain. It had been a safe haven.

“It’s nice, reminds me of home,” Thomas replied, “A place I haven’t been in a long while.” He muttered to himself as if caught off guard by some disturbing memory. This alteration in tone caught Skylar’s attention. She twisted her neck towards him, resting her chin against her shoulder.

“Why not?” She pried. Skylar had never been good at reigning in her curiosity. Thomas stared back at her wide eyes and shook his head.

“It’s empty.” He turned his attention away, leaning forward, elbows to thighs. Skylar caught a flicker of sadness and a bit of that emptiness he talked about in his eyes. They seemed bottomless and unfixable.

“Does this have anything to do with why you said earlier that you don’t plan on having a family of your own?” She’d been wondering about his words at the dinner table since it left his lips. Thomas hadn’t been like Austin. From a young age he dated seriously when he was interested in a woman, Austin on the other hand had been a rogue through and through. Not uncommon of the men she’d encountered but that wasn’t Thomas, not deep down.

He’d talk a big game, reject the idea of love. Reject the idea of ever being tied down to one woman but he’d still taken chances. She knew him. Well, past tense. She had to remind herself that her knowledge was a bit outdated but from what she recalled, Thomas would have eventually found someone to settle with.

“That’s just not in the cards for me.” He replied obscurely, “if I even wanted it, that is.” He shot her a sly smile but Skylar wasn’t buying it. In a way it seemed as if he was once more rejecting the idea of a relationship, but this time instead of that ‘I’ve lost nothing’ attitude he seemed to be describing a wretched existence.

He was dejected and that led Skylar’s mind down multiple rabbit holes, all on the same premise. Her Thomas Lynne had been in love. A sorrowful attachment that ended miserably.

“Then isn’t it too early to make such a definite statement?” She countered, transfixed by the shadows shifting cross his face as the street light flickered with a dying dim. She didn’t know details, but she knew forlorn when she encountered it. She’d made two best friends over the last ten years, her couch and bed sheets sporting many relationships related tear stains.

“I don’t think so.” He replied with a wave of his hand. A clear non-answer. “What about you?” he switched the subject of their conversation, gazing at her. Skylar knew this was a deflection technique but there was something in his eyes that hindered her from pressing him further.

“What about me?” Skylar swallowed, already uncomfortable. She knew what he wanted to know. She was certain her mother had given him an earful as Thomas had guided her up to her room. Their outburst at dinner had ended at her mother declaring she wasn’t feeling well and requesting Thomas to take her upstairs leaving Skylar to scurry off outside for some clarity.

“Do you want a family, Skylar?” She didn’t understand why those words caused her heart to do somersaults in her chest. It was a sickening feeling she had no use for.

“Whether I want it or not, I will be having one.” She replied, looking down at her stomach. It was too early for any noticeable changes in her body but a baby was growing.

“Does that family involve a father figure?” It was his turn to ask personal questions that forced Skylar to consider the future she was to have.

“Fifteen minutes alone with my mother and you already sound like her.” Skylar rocked back, bringing her arms around her knees. A father for her child would be a beautiful happenstance but her child was not born out of love, rather they were a representation of her desperation for truth. How could she possibly expect to give her child a father?

“She is worried about you, that’s all.” Thomas replied.

“She wants me to marry Austin.” Skylar corrected him, still uncertain as to why a simple ‘no’ to that man occasioned worry upon her mother.

“Is the thought of marrying him so terrible?” Thomas queried. Did she love the father of her child so much that she refused to marry anyone else?

“Worse, I assure you.” Her ponytail whipped around with the movement of her head. “Do you really have that much trust in Austin?” She questioned. She knew they had been close but she didn’t think that would make Thomas blind to the man Austin was. He was a libertine set on using women for his sole pleasure and nothing more.

How could anyone expect her to want to marry him, even in name alone?

“I think your misconceptions drive you to uninformed decisions.” He answered honestly. In fact, Austin suffered the same when it came to Skylar.

“I quite like my decisions,” she replied stubbornly. Was Thomas really attempting to convince her to marry a man she didn’t love? Heartbreak really sours the soul doesn’t it? It had to be his own brush with love that caused this perception, she was certain.

“Did you prefer Colin, then?” Thomas hated uttering that name. If he had the opportunity he’d wipe the man from the earth for touching her.

“What?” Skylar’s rich, musical laughter echoed in his ears. “You offend me, Thomas. To think I would ever want to be tied to that man…” she laughed again. Thomas squinted.

This was a turn of events that he hadn’t anticipated. She didn’t love Colin? From the looks of it, she barely liked him. How in the devil did she get pregnant for him then?

“You’re having his baby.” Thomas said aloud. He needed confirmation least he’d been mistaken this whole time.

“I am well aware of who’s baby I am carrying.” Skylar responded with a tiny yawn. “It’s unfortunate that I had to be the dimwit to poison my child’s blood with his, but I cannot change the will of the universe.”