Chapter 146 I don’t love you anymore
Chapter 146: I Don't Love You Anymore
“I didn't want anyone looking down on you or judging you that's why I never told anyone.” Allan said, holding Golden's hands.
“And Octavia and Rema? Why didn't you tell them? Were you afraid of them judging me too or were your friends your only concern?” Golden asked Allan.
“You know what Allan. I think you just wanted to eat your cake and have it. You wanted Lindsay's face and body and then my personality and heart.”
Allan looked at Golden confused. What was she trying to say to him?
“Lindsay was someone you couldn't have, so you settled for the next best person, me.
Then Lindsay somehow became available and attainable but you already had me and couldn't bear to let me go for the fear of hurting me.
So when I went away and you and Lindsay remained in the same city, it was easier to reignite the flames you buried.
So Allan, you might think you love me. You might actually have loved me without realizing it, but it is rather too late because I don't love you anymore.” Golden gently pulled her hands away.
“I don't love you any more” sounded like an alarm going off in Allan's head.
What did she mean by she didn't love him anymore? He had finally fallen in love with her.
In fact he had been in love with her from the beginning and now she was saying she didn't love him anymore?
“But I love you Gigi. Please can we not break up? I promise to end things with Lindsay. Please let's not break up.” Allan said pleadingly.
“I will tell Octavia and Rema. I don't mind introducing you to my friends. In fact I will shout it to the whole world as long as you don't leave me.
Take a break if you need to. How long do you need, one month? Three months? One year? Take as long as you need to forgive me, but please don't break up.”
Golden watched Allan plead with her. How nice would it have been if he had realized his feelings earlier?
How nice would it have been if he had introduced her as his girlfriend to his family and friends?
It was too late now. She had taken time to think things through. She had let her heart piece itself back together and talking to Allan, she felt lighter.
“I'm sorry Allan. It's a bit too late now. I held on for so long, but after what I saw today? I can't hold on anymore. I already let go.
“Then let me be the one to hold on this time around. Let me be the one to fight for us my love, please give us another chance.”
“Oh Allan, how I longed to hear you call me love. But hearing it now, I feel offended. So no Allan, we can't get back together.
Golden stood up and left. As she walked away, she felt really light as a feather.
She had finally let go. She chose herself and felt pretty good about it. She didn't even as much as glance back.
Allan would be fine eventually. She had finally gotten the closure she needed from Florida.
Thinking about it, she realized that Allan was what really kept Florida open in her mind. Home was wherever her family was and they didn't mind coming to London to see her.
Since she was done with what she came home for, Golden decided that she would fly back to London the next day.
She had spent three days of her break already and didn't mind going to spend the remaining four days in Northbridge volunteering.
In fact she was excited to go back to England. Florida would always be home, but England was her new reality.
Meanwhile, Allan remained seated, staring at Golden's unfinished ice cream.
He felt a boulder kind of pain in his chest. The realization that he had truly lost Golden was a bitter pill to swallow.
His phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID and realized it was Lindsay.
He ignored the call and proceeded to block her. Golden had broken up with him because of the thing he had with Lindsay.
He couldn't bring himself to talk to her after what just happened. If only he had controlled his hormones, Golden would have still been with him.
Golden got to Fab's car and entered it smiling. She was totally different from the person he had met earlier.
“What's up babe, did you guys talk things through?” Fab asked thinking that her happiness was because they had settled the issue.
“Yes we certainly did talk things through and I broke up with him and I don't regret it one bit.”
Fab immediately stepped on the brakes. “You broke up with him? And you seem rather happy about it, girl do I say I'm proud of you or...?”
“Don't look too shocked. I just booked my flight back to England. My flight is for 11 am tomorrow morning.” Golden said, dropping another bomb.
“Are you sure that you are not just running away from what just happened?” Fab asked concerned that Golden was bottling her feelings and running away from her problems.
“This is the best decision I've made in a long time. I think I finally got closure.” Golden said.
“I finally understand how Allan thinks and although it's messed up how I found out that he was cheating, I'm glad I found out myself and not through anyone else.
It gave me a clear perspective of things and helped me make a decision. And my going back to England has nothing to do with Allan.
On the contrary, I have a whole lot waiting for me in Northbridge. I'm going back to volunteer.”
“You know, I thought of volunteering but I was homesick and just wanted to come home, majorly because I missed Allan.
But now that my thing with Allan has been resolved, I don't feel homesick anymore and want to go back to what I should have been doing in the first place.