Morning had come too soon. Looking outside could tell it was going to be a cold dreary day. All of the leaves had fallen off of the trees, it been colder than usual the past few weeks. Winter was coming early this kind of weather made Sophie just want to stay in bed until spring. She knew she would never be able to do that. She had three kids to get up and ready for school.

Sophie looked down at her husband Alex, who was still sleeping peacefully. Alex wasn’t so bad. He had changed a lot in the past few months, mostly in a desperate effort to save their marriage. She admired him for that. She just wasn’t sure if she loved him anymore. At least not the way she used to love him. She felt as though she needed more. She wanted more, things that Alex was unable to give her.

Sophie though back to summer. She met a guy that seemed to have everything. She couldn’t help but think about him. She had dreams of the two of them. Sophie had met this guy at Jewel’s. His name was Zander. He was charming, he had looks, he knew how to charm her, and he had everything Sophie could ever want. They both had felt an instant attraction. It was as though they were destined to be together. Although she knew she would not see him much. She still felt something for him, something that kept haunting her.

Sophie was thirty four. She had been married twice. Her first marriage was short lived. They had nothing in common. Sophie had just wanted to get out of the life she was living with her parents. Two days the marriage was over. Then came Alex, he charmed her, he treated her like a princess, then she married him. Fourteen years and three children later, she wanted out. She wanted more than what Alex was giving her. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be trusted. She wanted more in life than just the material things Alex kept giving her. She was happy with her home; she knew they were getting a new home. The love wasn’t there anymore.

Sophie was an attractive woman for her age so she thought; she was overweight and looked like she never managed to do her hair. She knew she could get a better man than the one she had. No one ever believed she was thirty four. Everyone she knew had told her she could pass for twenty four. Sophie was a hard worker. She had a good job. She was confident that she could make it on her own. Raising the children alone would not be a financial burden; it would be a mental strain. She was afraid to be alone again.

“Sophie, is everything alright? No. Don’t answer that. I know the answer already. You are thinking about him again.” Alex said startling Sophie. “You will never learn. I asked you to let that man go and work on us. All your bitch ass does anymore is lying to me.”

“Everything is fine. I wish that you would just stop asking me about this, about him. Nothing happened between us. I wrote to him just as I promised I would. The letter even stated that you and I are trying to work things out. I could not break the promise to him about writing. What more do you want from me. As a matter of fact he has not even tried to write or call me, so apparently he did get the hint. He has given up on me.”

“You know I really want to believe you. I really want to believe that he has given up. I just cannot do that not now. Something more happened between the two of you for you to feel the way you do toward him. You two seem way to close from what I see. You don’t just leave your husband for another man out of the blue if there is nothing between the two of you.”

“I already told you I do not want to discuss this with you, not now. Let it go. I have to get the children ready for school.”

“This is not over yet Sophie. You have left you have made me move out twice already. Just so that you could be free to be with him. How convenient, that you do it when you know he is going to be home on leave. Huh, how coincidental he is due home in the next few days. Or have you forgotten? Do you remember? No, wait I get it now, you are just ignoring me for that reason.”

Sophie walked out of the bedroom. Ha ha, dumb ass, the joke is on you. You may think it is over. The question is: Is it really over? Damn men, don’t get it, I just do not love you anymore Alex. I love Zander. How do I tell you? How do I get you to see the big picture? Every time I tell you the truth I end up feeling sorry for you. Then I take you back. You are right. Zander is home for fifteen days. I do plan to talk to him as much as I can. I do plan to see him every chance I get to see him. That just shows how much you know. God, why can’t I tell Alex all of this? Why is it so easy to do when I think about how to tell you? It goes so well when I play it over in my head. Soon, very soon, I will tell you. I will get the nerve to tell you everything. Right now I am keeping it to myself. The timing is just all wrong.