Clarissa.

Clarissa inhaled deeply and stiffened in her chair. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, yet anxiety was coming off her in waves. It felt as if her body was pacing the room. She laughed at that idea and looked down at her own legs. She couldn’t remember a time when she had been able to walk, in fact, she couldn’t remember anything from before she was ten.

“Clarissa?” The door opened slowly as her best friend, Eva, came in. Eva was everything she was not; tall and thin with tan skin and thick, wavy blonde hair.

Everyone loved her, and Clarissa often found herself jealous of her friend, not that she would ever admit that out loud. She turned her chair to face her head-on, bracing for the waterworks.

Eva had always been, for lack of a better word, passionate, but it was even worse now that she was pregnant with her first child. Clarissa almost felt sorry for her husband Liam. She could only imagine what he had to endure at home with Eva's emotions amplified this much. Eva was only four months into her pregnancy, so she was sure that Liam was starting to feel the stress of it all.

Sighing deeply, she met her friend's gaze. She had agreed to an arranged marriage to make everyone happy, but now that the day was here, she didn’t know what to think. No matter what happened, she resolved to keep her emotions in check and not to let anyone see her cry. Everyone had bent over backward to make this wedding happen.

She was wearing a simple white dress that went to the floor. There wasn’t much time to prepare, and they didn’t have access to a dress shop, and even if she could get out of the house, trying dresses on would take more energy than she possessed.

Clarissa managed to apply some lace from an old tablecloth to the sleeves and hem of the dress. She wasn’t one to wear makeup, but she did try today, after all, if there was an occasion for makeup, her wedding day seemed like it. She braided her jet-black hair in a crown around her head and arranged some small white flowers in it.

“Oh, you look so beautiful!” Eva said as she ran forward to pull her into a tight hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly Ev, I’m not sure. I know I’m supposed to be happy, but I never thought I would be getting married, and now that it's really happening, it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Eva smiled at her warmly. “I’m sure it's just pre-wedding jitters, and as soon as you’re settled you will be fine! He is going to love you.”

Ah, thought Clarissa, the elusive He. In truth, she had no idea who she was marrying in a few hours. The wedding had been completely arranged by Eva’s mother. Clarissa allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts while Eva fussed over her dress and hair, making sure everything was perfect. She finally let her worries spill out, hoping Eva would understand.

“How could he? Does he even know about me? What if we get there, he finds out I’m a cripple, and he walks away? I don’t want to get married, but your mom says I have to get out of the state as soon as possible so I don’t get any worse.”

Her friend grabbed her hands and looked stern for once. “If he walks away, he is an idiot. Just because you can’t walk doesn’t mean you have nothing to offer, Clarissa. You are intelligent, funny, and beautiful inside and out. If he can't see that, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t be complaining. Could you grab my shoes for me? They’re over on my bed.” Clarissa had asked for a white pair of tennis shoes to wear today, and Asha had complied with her request. Not that she would actually be on her feet, but she did prefer comfort to anything else.

Eva walked over and picked up the shoes. “Look, I know it’s not a perfect situation, but you've always been one to make the best out of everything. I would have fallen apart years ago if I had gone through half of what you did.”

Clarissa nodded knowing exactly what Eva was talking about. She had been with Eva’s family for as long as she could remember. She owed her life to Erik Siku who found her as a young girl, half frozen, unable to walk, facedown in the snow outside his property. He brought her home to his wife, Asha, and she had been with them ever since.

The Sikus already had four children when Clarissa came to them, the youngest, and only girl being Eva. While Eva was two years her senior, the pair bonded instantly. If Clarissa was being honest with herself, Eva was the one she felt the most connection to, besides Erik, who had always treated her like one of his own children.

The boys were different. Asher was the oldest at 26, and he rarely spoke to her nowadays. It wasn't that he was unkind, but he did tend to keep his distance. Then there were the twins, Eli and Everett. They were 24 and off at University. Clarissa couldn’t help but be happy about this.

A break from the twins' constant scrutiny was exactly what she needed. They loved to push her too far and she had been in trouble on more occasions than she could count for letting them convince her to do things she wasn't allowed to do. Multiple times, they had been caught trying to sneak her out of the house as a child.

While she wasn’t a prisoner, per se, she was not allowed outside of the house unless it was with Asha for an occasional walk in the garden, or for one of her many doctor visits. Simply put, Asha had always told her the cold weather here in Alaska was what was killing her slowly and the more she was out in it, the more she would suffer physically. Aside from a few nice days a year, she mainly kept to her room.

Clarissa shook her head, at least she would be out of there soon. She had no details of where she was going, just that it was south and in the States. She knew Asha would make sure she was taken care of, but just couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling. Her palms were sweaty and she was starting to feel dizzy.

She pushed back tears as she realized she knew remarkably little about the man she was going to marry. All Asha had provided her was a first name – Dylan, and that he was a businessman from the States. She focused on a small yellow spot in the middle of a flower on one of the pictures hanging above her bed trying to reorient herself. The last thing she needed today was to let the stress get to her and make her pass out. Sighing to herself, she turned her head to Eva.

“We should probably go down now. I imagine Erik and Asher will have the van ready, and we really don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Eva moved aside to let her roll herself down. She hated letting people push her in her chair, especially on days she was strong enough to do it herself. It was one of the only things in her life she could control.