I knew I was in love with you. Was I a fool for thinking you were in love with me too? - Jesu Nadal

–Prologue–

I don’t like it when West snaps at me after making love. It makes me feel used. As if I could give him everything and still it wouldn’t be enough.

I wipe my tears and take a deep breath to calm myself down. Sometimes he doesn’t even want to come near me. This is one of those days. I get it he is upset and occupied. But whenever he does this, it makes me feel abandoned and ugly.

I look at my face in the mirror and wash it in hopes of reducing the redness spread across my eyes. After a while, he opens the bathroom door and says, “Come to bed…”

“So you could fuck me, then shut me out again?” I ask with indifference.

He sighs. ”Nat…”

He takes a step towards me, trying to touch my arm, but I shrug him off. He stands there for a while, then says, “Sometimes I wish I hadn’t told you anything. You worry too much… and you know how I feel about it...”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s my fault.”

My fault that I care and want him to do something about this fucked up situation…

I try to brush past him, but he grabs and pushes me against the wall while caging me with his arms. He cups my cheek in his palm and says, tracing my lips with his thumb, “Sometimes I wish I could have a fresh start…”

I blink at him to understand what he is trying to say.

He studies in my face for a moment, brings his face near mine to kiss. "I am sorry," he murmurs against my lips and, like a fucking whore, I melt again. He kisses, pressing his body into me.

Why does he have so much control over my body? I hate him and I hate myself for this.

I let out a moan without meaning to. When he slips his hand in my panties, my heartbeat quickens and a shiver runs down my thighs. I try to resist him. I am soaking wet and I don’t want him to know.

I swear to God I feel his smirk across my lips. If he wasn’t pressed onto me. I would have kneed him. I try to pull away from the kiss, but he pins me hard.

He runs his thick digits across my slit while rubbing my clit with his thumb. I cannot help but give in. He pulls away from the kiss and says, “Ride my hand, Nat… Do it…”

He says and pushes two fingers inside. I squeeze my legs and squirm while he finger-fucks me. I try to match his rhythm to relieve myself. He takes a hard bite of my breasts above my clothes. I moan in pain and pleasure.

“Just keep going…” I say breathlessly and he fastens his pumps and my pussy starts clenching around his fingers. Soon enough, I shudder and go limp in his arms. He hugs me for a while, then he picks me up in his arms and takes me towards his room.

I look at his beautiful face, wondering how I even fall for this heartless boy and why he is being gentle right now.

He puts me down on his bed, then removes my clothes one by one. He leaves me a trail of kisses. My senses have heightened with an orgasm he just gave me.

With each kiss moving down and down, I feel his full lips wetting my skin, his light stubble scratching me. He kisses my cheeks, my neck, my shoulder, my breast. Then he moves to my stomach. I gasp when he opens my thigh and buries his face in. He licks and eats me out with patience. I shudder with every lick he takes across my slit. He sucks, bites and flickers my clit with his tongue. I am too sensitive down there. It’s almost torture.

Still, I am high in the thrill and passion of love he is showing. It’s rare for him to do this for me.

“I need you West.” I say, almost desperate.

He gives me one deep, long smooch before pulling his cock out. He rubs it to my slits and I shudder. Then he fucks me again.

But this time it’s different. It feels like making love.

He isn’t into slow and passionate things. But that’s exactly what he is doing right now. Our bodies, bare and sweat mingling with each other, it’s too much for me to handle. I tilt my core to urge him to go deeper and faster.

He pumps into me again and again. When I feel his ragged breath, I hold his hips and slam into me harder. He is too deep into me. It almost hurts.

“Oh fuck, Nat. You are too much… “ His voice is ragged. I know he is losing control, too.

He thrusts into me deep and fast. Within seconds, we both fall from the edge. We lie exhausted next to each other, then he surprises me by pulling me closer to spoon me. He holds me for long and I fall asleep in his arms, breathing in his comforting scent.

….

When I open my eyes in the morning, I notice him gazing at me. I smile and blush. I must look like a mess. I hate it when he points it out. But I cannot look my best, first thing in the morning.

“I will miss you,” He says instead.

What?

I frown. “Where are you going?”

He doesn’t answer at first, then he says, “I am going away for two weeks during summer break.”

Summer break starts after a week.

“Oh…”

I look at his face again. Bruising has completely faded on one side of his face and is slightly visible on another. By Monday, it will be gone. He didn’t hold back last night. Second time when we fucked, it felt like he was trying to comfort me. He removed his shirt. Showed his scars. Most of them have faded. Luckily, there aren’t any new bruises. I was just overthinking.

He sits up in bed and pulls me towards himself and says, “Come here. I want to capture this moment.”

I shake my head in horror. “Noo West, I look terrible.”

“You look beautiful Nat… Come here.”